It's snowing, the children can hardly wait another day for christmas to come, the house is filled with lovely smells from baking, and I am enjoying every minute of it.
Our christmas shopping was done awhile ago, the baking is almost finished, the meal is planned, the christmas concert over. The lights are up on the house, the christmas tree is waiting cheerily by the fireplace to be decorated and the Jesse tree is filling up with ornaments tracing the history of God's love through the ages.
I am full of such joy I can't help but smile. I have been richly blessed. So blessed that it is overflowing into smiles.
The big kids are over at their grandparents house for the day, the twins are sleeping and I am about to put on some pretty music and do some more baking. This is a good day. The sun is shining, it's quiet in my house and I have a full pantry, fridge and freezer.
Yes, money is tight this year. Tighter than most years... but I have found that God always provides just what we need.... and sometimes, having to wait for what we need (or want), teaches us lessons about what's really important.
Yes, I get grumpy. Yes, my house gets messy. Yes, I usually have no idea what to make for supper at 4:00pm every day and all the kids cry at the same time while i'm trying to make it...
But overall, and running through everything, I feel this abiding sense of peace that doesn't leave.
I am where I was created to be.
It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.... but it's even more wonderful than I could have imagined. Hard work and sacrifice that springs from love of others, and learning to give yourself as a gift, can bring a fulfillment in life that is unmatched by any other.
This is what I am trying to learn from Christmas. Live in the now. Love in the now.
Give yourself as a gift.